The last few months have been no different from the rest of the year in that it has been a roller-coaster ride full of the unexpected.

Metaphysically,
I’ve been living in the present as much as possible, soaking in what life has had to offer me… and in turn, my blog posts are pretty far behind. I have over 15 unfinished drafts, and yet I start a new idea every time the mind calls for it. I have a lot to say and a lot of information and wisdom to offer, but I’m still training myself to be better about taking things one at a time. So I’m trying not to stress on those half-finished ideas, and simply post this one to get the ball rolling again. Everything else will follow.

My mind is always running with ideas. All of them are worth recording, and some are worth further exploring. You never really find out unless you record them and explore them all to some degree. You have to allocate the time and energy for that if it’s not by habit. But for me, it is by habit to ponder and reflect on what’s going on inside. I’m working on allocating more time and energy for business, school, and personal health; the things that occur outside of my mental barricades.

I’ve at times been so concerned with polishing a product before it exists, that it never even made it past a rough draft. I’ve been so concerned with the reception of my creations that I failed to create. I’ve been so concerned with making a specific kind of photograph that I didn’t even go out to shoot. The real difference since these times is that lately, I carry a different kind of confidence and mentality towards creating and just living life in general. I’m truly learning to embrace the unknown, spontaneity, and perhaps fate. The results of this life approach have spoken volumes for the state of my mental health, the amount of photos I’ve been creating, and the energy being attracted my way.

My heart is in a place of creation. Building connections with new people, building deeper connections with my loved ones, and most importantly building a deeper connection between myself and this Earth.

Physically,
At the tail end of July, I decided to go full-frame. I sold my Nikon D5200 and acquired a D800, both eliminating crop factor and gaining over a 50% increase in resolution. The sharpness and functionality of my aged Nikkor Ai-S and AF lenses improved dramatically being able to use their true focal lengths. All of the detail, color, and sharpness in my latest images has not ceased to impress me. The D800 is by no means a new camera, but its performance has stood the test of time. It has been a joy to work with such a more powerful canvas when I’m out making photographs.

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Throughout August and September, I’ve gotten more used to the D800 while also shooting and processing a ton of 35mm film on the side. A lot of the film dates back from July and August, but I’ve caught myself up to the end of September. I think I spent over $300 in film processing and scanning services this summer alone, so I’ve been pondering the idea of scanning my own film via an Epson flatbed scanner. I’ve cross compared the cost of develop-only services local to me versus continuing using TheDarkroom, ranging from $6-$10/roll rather than $12-$15/roll and up for develop + scan.

Film is no cheap hobby. On the contrary it’s proven to be quite costly. Film costs can vary widely, but most of the film I’m using is $4-8+ a roll depending where and what, plus processing costs. A $5 roll + $15 develop & scan + tax = ~$22, not including shipping and other potential expenses. If you round up to $24, that’s $1/shot on a 24exp. roll or $0.67/shot on a 36exp roll. This cost break-down kind of makes you re-evaluate how we consume film, but in turn, sharpens the photographic eye with every shot.
I think that’s part of the reason a lot of people love to shoot film and why film photographs tend to have more substance. [In comparison to the digital camera], people save their film for a truly photogenic or memorable moment, they don’t just burst mode through their life. . .

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I also found a private darkroom business nearby, whom I’ve decided to work exclusively with for making prints from any medium. See http://www.TheLabSantaRosa.com. They’re equipped with a Flextight drum scanner, a Chromira LED printer, and a traditional enlarger in the only commercial darkroom I know of in the North Bay. I’m sure others exist out there, but I’m not sure I could have been any more fortunate for this one being here.

Some of the biggest news with myself this summer is I sold my first three prints. They were all done by the Chromira LED printer at The Lab, the local darkroom I mentioned, printed on archival Fujifilm Lustre stock. These initial prints have given me much confidence in the quality of the photo lab and the rewarding feeling of seeing and feeling the picture in physical form. Making a beautiful moment be still forever and allowing others to appreciate it as I did is one of my main goals in this craft, and I see distributing prints as a great means to do that.

I’ve been extremely busy doing photo and video projects for clients while keeping up with school and work obligations. Likely the hardest part about where I am in life is that I still feel held back by my need to focus on academics and to earn and save more money. However, those are things that I also refuse to limit or prevent me from expressing myself, going out and creating connections, ideas, photographs, or anything else my heart reasonably desires.

With all that being said, I’m very excited for what the future holds. My business cards have been in circulation, my head is being held up high, my shutters are clicking, my film is advancing, my perspectives are opening and changing. My life is beginning to take form as I re-evaluate what my priorities are, where my intentions lay, and where I’d like to position myself for the future chapters in my life. Until then, I’m continuing to be as present as possible, and contribute to a positive force in the world.