You ever have those moments/days where you almost literally feel yourself shedding off previous versions of yourself? It’s as if we’re aware nothing has changed overnight or in that moment, but that how you feel in that moment is definitely different than the last time you were aware of it. Life has a way of passing through the days so quickly that even a hard look in the mirror every day doesn’t really reveal any major changes. Over the course of time, though, like exercising consistently for years on end, you do see the changes. You do see and feel the results of all the time, blood, sweat, and tears that got you into your position today.

A lot of questions and uncertainties I had in life about myself, about society, about the way we all tend to maneuver through this life experience seem to have been answered lately. A lot of tendencies and habits and truths about myself I have associated to their root causes or childhood memories that add up to present-day Matthew. And it’s not like I have everything all figured out – I most definitely do not – but it’s as if I am starting to feel a sense of closure with so many questions from my past about myself and the world. My curiosity and drive to figure things out will surely continue to lead me down many rabbit holes, into many new experiences and new revelations. I am excited for them. I am excited to move past a chapter in my life riddled with doubt, fear, anxiety, and uncertainty and into one where I move with a sense of awareness, of confidence, of courageousness, and of peace.

Sometimes I think I’m viewing life a little too simplistically these days. But, that is also a result of me finding a solution to constantly overthinking and underperforming. I’ve learned to let go of a lot of social judgment and socially-induced anxiety that stemmed mostly from childhood experiences. It’s the adulthood experiences that really give us a reality check. It’s after we get through the superficial acts of graduating school and working great and shitty jobs and being in great and shitty relationships that teach you the most about yourself and the company you kept up to that point. I’ve found that not a lot of people I’ve encountered in life really understand what I’m talking about, or themselves have made it past a certain level of self-awareness and consciousness to understand and feel their changes on a deep intuitive level. That’s okay, too, as the world must operate in balance. It’s not written in all our paths to think or feel this way; it’s not written for all of us to be famous or great – let alone just desire to be better in any way.

But if that is you reading this, resonating with anything I’ve said, maybe wondering when you’ll really feel any progress or growth within yourself, then at least take this one thing away: Trust the process while you put in the work, rest and meditate a lot to heal the mind body and soul, then push yourself to be great again. The world needs you to be you, not a shadow or a copy of anybody else.

Peace