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photo: Dennis Andrade

The journey I took through my soul this past year has not been an easy one, but it has been well worth the persistence to reach this point of reflection. I made it through 2019 into the New Year, and with that has come many developments and achievements I wouldn’t have even imagined attaining back in 2018, such as shooting promos, events, and music videos for local artists and businesses, selling my photographs, developing film at home, and curating this website to display my work at the freedom of my own expression.

Every ounce of struggle I felt led me to maneuver through my issues and my emotions, and ultimately, create something out of it because in those instances, I felt like I had nothing anymore. Everything I knew about myself among this world, I had questioned all over again. This amount of doubt and questioning led me on a true deep-sea exploration into my mind fishing for some answers. It couldn’t happen any other way: I was bound to hit a new rock bottom, just as I am soon bound to reach a new high.

photo: Matthew Pak

But that’s just who I am. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t question the world and question myself the way that I do. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t get the answers from yesterday and form the questions of tomorrow, today. Everyday, I’ve new questions and new answers. Knowledge cries out to me, because I likely don’t give knowledge enough attention… But in this process, knowledge was my savior. Knowledge I already had within that I just needed to be reminded of.

The clearest messages to my soul have been: to stay grounded in my gratitude and humility to the Earth, to free myself from dependency, judgment and pressure, to handle my energy preciously, and to build trust within myself.
To be myself and thus to love myself, unconditionally and unapologetically.

Such a journey and such lessons don’t just stop there. I’m in a zone of clarity and focus. I just want to speak / write out into the universe what it has been speaking to me lately. Still, every day, I face new questions, with many still left unanswered. But it isn’t about getting all the answers right, or even all the answers at all. . . As such, it isn’t about merely completing the journey as much as it is being present, enjoying the process, and learning to find and love yourself along the way.

photo: Dennis Andrade

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Berkeley.

A city full of emotions. Full of beauty. Unique in every way, but without much effort.

I parked in front of the wrong Viet restaurant but I’m always ok with a little walk in my favorite city.

I love the beauty in the details, but I’m learning to make use of the fine line between complexity and simplicity that keeps us interested…

Such is life, and life is as such…
Thank you for viewing and enjoy.

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I admire and enjoy learning from the greatest of humankind. Humans have presented greatness in many forms through both collective and individual art and culture. I find inspiration knowing that some other successful and influential person had a similar perspective as I did or that I caught their creative intentions before they spoke on it.

One distinguishing characteristic about me is I am genuinely curious by nature. I am curious to know how things work; the properties or ideologies of things, how people think and why they act, how and why life has presents a circumstance, why I see things as I do versus for what they are – if there is even any difference between the two. . .

It is a blessing and a curse to wonder and think as much as I do, let me be the one to tell you. I’m not afraid to praise its blessing however, because ignorance is bliss and knowledge is power.

Kobe talks a lot about being curious, and his curiosity leading him to explore the question of how great he could be and setting affirmations to trial.
One important part which may often go overlooked is how Kobe, with the influence of Coach Phil Jackson, had employed various forms of meditation and mental conditioning to his training regimen. One reason for this is the role that our curiosity can play when it’s doing more harm than good. That is, our curiosity is pulling us back from our affirmations and focus when it’s important to be grounded, calm, and present in the moment.
Kobe cites that this kind of mental training and preparation was key to staying calm in highly stressful or distracting game [and life] situations.

Where should my focus be and where is my mind currently at? More often than not, these two are further separated apart from each other than I think they ought to be. I constantly remind myself to be aware of where my mind is, where it’s headed, and if it’s in the right space for what my current goals are. Sometimes we even lose track of what our goals really are.
Every so often we have to take time to reflect on what it is we’ve been working toward, and how it differs from the future we currently envision and desire to manifest for ourselves.

With all of that being said, my latest reflections spoke to my soul deeply and further reinforced the need for reciprocating love, increased creative expression, improved work ethic, and emphasizing focus on finishing my formal education. These are my top priorities to be aware of until my soul tells me otherwise.

Kobe: “You’re welcome.”

edited 01/30/2020:
My heart is broken to learn and accept the truth of the tragic accident which Kobe, his little Gianna, and the other fallen passengers. Kobe was one of the greatest influences in my life, undoubtedly, and will remain to be until the end of my time. Peace. Mamba out!

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“You miss 100% of the shots that you don’t take.”

I always liked how many interpretations & applications there are to this quote, but for me personally, it also hits a soft spot because it fits perfectly within the examples of basketball & photography – two things I happen to be very passionate about. So especially recently, this motivational phrase has struck a nerve inside. Maybe it’s for a good reason.

When I exercise, I often play basketball. It is both physically & mentally exhausting, yes – but it brings me great relief despite how demanding it may be. Many could say the same for weightlifting, running, soccer, or other sports. Many others would say the same for making music, reading & writing, painting, drawing, or photography. These activities that we find ourselves naturally drawn to & spending energy on allows our passion to be a vehicle for navigating through all the craziness in the outside world.

When I’m on the ball court getting my shots in, it’s a lot about creating an intimate mind-body connection. What begins as pure intention becomes translated through my actions into healthy and effective movement. There’s a sense of self-discipline in the way I warm up, practice drills, and expect a certain level of performance to be met before I call it a day.

I don’t label it as an escape from the world, because I think it’s important to be in tune with both our personal reality & the planet’s reality. If anything, it’s about finding one’s personal connection to their own perspective. I think it’s important to be aware of what is physically & metaphysically existing outside of our own vessel & how it plays a role in our personal identities & beyond.

In a similar approach, when I’m out shooting photographs, it’s about sharing from my personal perspective what I thought was significant – whether it be beautiful, ugly, symbolic, thought-provoking, creative, telling, etc, – in that moment in time. I want to bring the viewer to where I stood; make them see the elegance in what I saw, and that could be either simple or complex. It’s partly just to let you know that this does exist, that life on our planet speaks to us in so many languages.

This perspective of art and of the world gets translated through the lens into the images I capture. I try to keep my intentions pure and my observations sharp when I’m out shooting photographs. It’s training my eye and my mind similar to how basketball trains my coordination and athleticism.

I want to channel that self-connection to all who come across my work, and represent that what I am fortunate enough to capture is a result of my own personal journey. We each have our own personal journeys to fulfill which may very well be riddled with adversity and doubt. In that process, I just want to remind you all to keep going… that “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”