I’ve had so much on my mind lately, but no real time to reflect and process everything. The prospect of an unexpected day off tomorrow is already giving me the reminder, the energy, and the inspiration to slow the hell down and look at myself in the mirror.

Life comes in waves. Sometimes we’re broke, sometimes we’re investing or burning through it. Sometimes we feel in love, sometimes we’re forced to question it. Sometimes we’re overwhelmed and tired, sometimes it doesn’t matter and the job simply gets done. Sometimes you need friends and relationships and communication, other times you just need to be alone. Sometimes you love yourself and sometimes we need a reminder how to do so.

In my life, I feel I’m always striving for perfection… like Raekwon. (Only Built 4 Cuban Linx is damnnear perfect). However this quality of mine both serves me and destroys me. My desire to set a high standard then not fall below it tends to also crush to my own ego and energy to do anything. I’m a bit harsh on myself rather than focusing that energy on improving from where I’m at and attaining better results than last time. It’s really, really hard to direct energy in the right places when these ways of thinking are ingrained into my very consciousness. I’m constantly breaking down old habits to replace them with better ones. Constantly chipping away at my ego, my imperfections, my deficiencies and my imbalances, to turn it around and create a better version of myself; the very best version; the version made in the image of the cosmos and the universal consciousness.

“Let’s not think like we gon’ be stagnated.. let’s keep moving ahead, man. Keep our head up, man.”

Wherever I was a year ago, two years ago, I was probably punching the wall for not being further along my own journey. And it’s so foolish… but also the reasons I’ve gotten as far as I’ve gotten. I really examine and challenge myself. I am who I am; my results and my creations will always reflect that and that’s all I want. These are things I need to not only acknowledge, or merely accept, but embrace and employ to their fullest potential. I’ve proven to myself I only level up more and more through time, wisdom, experience, and networking… The more I collect the jewels of life. Yet, the hardest thing to do is trust myself in knowing I will continue to do so while learning, growing, and expanding into whatever it is the cosmos have in store for me.

No one can replace me on this journey, and no one could replace what this journey has done for me. I might not be in the positions of my peers or my muses, but I’m here with everything I’ve done. I’m here watching their every move so I can calculate when and how to make mine. What I have is a true obsession to find perfection strategically and methodically. I’m finding better methods to my madness and my obsession, better ways to express these feelings, but it doesn’t take away from what I’ve done… it in fact has only led me to where I am going.

Peace